For every soul, there is a guardian watching it. ~
Three years ago yesterday one of the most important people in my life passed away, my grandmother. And for seven grandchildren she was not only our grandmother but our best friend and our rock.
For months after her passing I felt robbed. While she was 78 years old she was so together and so young at heart. How could she have been taken from us so soon? But as the pain slowly disappeared I realized that I wasn’t robbed at all. I was, in fact, truly blessed and lucky to have had such an amazing woman in my life. Most people only dream about angels and we all had one in our lives, here on earth. Her name was Mary.
Mary was truly an angel in the sense that she saw the good in almost everyone. Through the past 30 plus years each one of the grandchildren fell into hard times. At one point or another we were in pretty bad places. A group home, a teen pregnancy, the loss of a parent. And through it all she stayed strong and offered support and love that people could only dream about. She never compared and never passed judgment. Her love was unconditional.
Fast forward to about 2 years after her passing, Ed and I had been married a year. Within that year we bought a home, a puppy, and were building out life together. We then decided we were ready to become parents. We were thrilled to find out shortly that we were expecting, but I had a feeling something was not right and we miscarried. We were devastated and heart broken. A few months later the doctor gave us the ok to start trying again and soon enough we were pregnant. But the first few months were not easy. I was bleeding a lot and had to be put on hormone pills to try to keep the pregnancy viable. One night in particular I broke down sobbing. So afraid that we were going to repeat history. Ed and I just held each other and prayed. I talked to my grandmother and told her how scared I was and how I wished so very much for her to be there so I could talk to her. Then Ed brought me a glass of water to calm me down. My hands were trembling so much that I spilled some on the bed…..this is what I saw when I looked down:
A baby footprint. She heard me! HE heard me! This was a sign that everything was going to be ok. From that moment on I wore my grandmother’s wedding ring. The same ring she was wearing when she took her last breath was the ring I was wearing when 8 months later my son took his first. And while at times I wish she was still here so could see Eddie an what a great job we are doing with him, Ed reminds me that she really is here with us.
- Special memories I have are of the sleepovers held at my grandmothers house for years (from childhood to adulthood) that consisted of my cousin Erica, my sister Alicia, and my self staying up all night giggling, eating entire bags of Peanut Chews, and pretty much annoying our poor grandmother. “Go To Bed!” She loved the company either way. Then the next morning she would put us to work…..pulling weeds in 100 degree weather or polishing her cabinets. And we loved to do it for her. She has done so much for us!
- At 78 years old she listened to Prince and Madonna.
To my grandmother, my best friend, my rock, and now my angel…….I love you so much and miss you everyday. Thank you for all of the life lessons and great memories you have given me.