Sometimes Mommy Cries

I see your red hair gleaming 

As I watch you run around. 

Your smile as bright as the sun

That's shining on the ground.

Tears are streaming down my face 

In your tracks they stop you now.

You begin to examine me all around

"Mama are you hurt, and how?"

But my dear sweet little one 

Mama's wounds you can not see.

For the pain that I feel at times

Is rooted deep inside of me.

It's nothing that you have done

And sometimes I am not sure why.

It's nothing that your daddy has done

Just sometimes mommy cries.

I cry for loved ones I have lost

And the mistakes I have made.

But rest asure my sweet little one

This life I  would not trade.

I cry to drown my insecurities

Like sandcastles engulfed by a wave.

Hoping they just wash away 

So to my emotions I won't be a slave.

But sweet little one do not  worry

Mommy will be just fine.

It's just that every now and again

Mommy has to cry. CMZ

Science Sundays: Raising a child with both Science and Faith

 

“Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals.”-Martin Luther King Jr.

    

   

    I have been blessed with a bright little boy that is passionate about many things. Music, Art, MMA, Science, and God are his biggest passions. He can spend hours drawing and coloring. He can listen to a song and pick out every single instrument played, his ears in-tuned with every detailed sound. Wide eyed and curious he comes to me on most days asking to do a science experiment, something we have been doing together since he was barely two years old.  As the day winds down and he is snuggled in bed, the sound of crickets playing a sweet lullaby over the soft hum of the humidifier, he turns to me every night and asks if we can pray. We pray for our families and friends and give thanks for all God has given us. 

     In the past few years I have seen many things circulating on various social networks, one topic in particular hit a nerve within me. Masses of opinions regarding the fact that science and religion do not and could not coexist. When it boils down to it, these opinions stressed that if you were religious and believed in God you were a moron and oblivious to science. On the contrary these opinions also stated that if you believed in evidence based science you automatically are an atheist. That got me really digging deep into my personal beliefs and I mediated long and hard on this topic. 

    
     As a nurse I rely on science every single day. I know that when taking a blood pressure the systolic pressure is the pressure in the artery during the ventricular contraction phase of the heart cycle and the diastolic pressure is the pressure in the artery when the ventricles are relaxed. I know the complexities of balancing electrolytes in the body and the affects on the body when these levels are off. Electrolytes are minerals in your body that have an electric charge. Sodium, calcium, potassium, chlorine, phosphate and magnesium are all electrolytes. I know that I am to advise a patient to avoid Vitamin K when taking Coumadin as the two have opposite effects on the body. Vitamin K causes the blood to clot and the Coumadin is taken to prevent clotting. What most people don't know, however, is that many of us nurses also turn to God on many occasions. We pray for our patients and for their families. We pray for guidance and strength. We have heard and seen miracles happen that science could not explain. We are trained to be compassionate to all faiths and religions and offer guidance when needed.

     
     My conclusion? Faith and Science indeed go hand and hand. I believe in God and that he created all that surrounds us. This is my FAITH. Although I can not see it right in front of me, I feel it in my heart and have had many blessings in life by our Lord. I believe in science, cold hard evidence placed before our eyes. This is my KNOWLEDGE. These I can touch, study, see, and test. Perhaps God created evolution and placed the stars in the sky. He designed our detailed and magnificent bodies, like well oiled machines. Perhaps God is the greatest engineer of all time. Mayim Bialik, a well known actress and neuroscientist wrote, "For example, if they ask me, “Why is the sun sunny?” (yes, my 4-year-old asked me this a few weeks ago), I give an explanation about the sun being a giant ball of a hot gas, like the kind that fills up a balloon. If I’m asked the proverbial “Why?” the answer is, “Because that’s the way HaShem made the world.”

     So can I raise my children learning both about God and Science? The answer is yes and that is why I have started Science Sundays in our home. Every Sunday after church we will reflect on one simple bible verse and then try out a new science experiment. Since I am working this weekend we started our project a few days early this week. I will be documenting our weekly journey here. 

Week One:

Science: About The Lungs

Faith: Psalm 150:6

This fun experiment teaches you the role of the diaphragm when inhaling and exhaling. We have done this project once before, and still remains a household favorite.We start our lesson by reading about the specific topic we will be learning about.

You Will Need:

• Play Dough
• Empty plastic water bottle
• Scissors
• Straw
• 2-3 rubber gloves
• Tape
  

How To: 
Cut the bottle in half keeping the part with the bottle neck and tossing the bottom.
Cut two fingers off of a rubber glove for the lungs. Try to cut it high enough so that they will inflate together. 
Tape the lungs to the bottom of the straw as shown in the video below.
Place straw with lungs attached into the bottle and affix with play dough. My son likes to pretend the play dough is the epiglottis, even though that would be up before the trachea.
Affix an intact rubber glove around the base of the bottle.

Project complete! You can now see how your lungs inflate when your diaphragm contracts and deflates when your diaphragm relaxes!

Here is the bible verse we reflected on tonight:"Let everything that has breath praise the Lord."

Next week a robotic hand to learn about ligaments and pretty soon a real live working robot. Stay tuned!

 

Things I have learned from being a mommy to a boy

 From the moment your wonderful news makes a physical debut in the form of an adorable bump peeking out from an unbuttoned jacked you hear it. You hear it from family, from friends, from the sweet old lady in aisle 5 as she touches your stomach. "Enjoy every moment, it goes by so fast." You hear it and it resonates within you, but you never fully understand how fast it is going to go until you are living it. I think what they mean when they tell you this is that while some days are long the years are short. There are some days you are counting down until bedtime, you know those days. Blink and those days turned into years.

6 years ago my husband and I brought home our sweet little boy from the hospital and we became a family of three. I can still remember that new baby smell, a mixture of Dreft and Johnson and Johnson lotion, as I held him over my shoulder, kissing his little nose. While he still likes to snuggle his mom those moments are fleeting and he can barely fit into my arms. He is now tall enough to ride most of the big rides at Disney World and seems to grow by the minute. How can those pants be too short, we just bought them last month?! It feels like just yesterday I stood before him with arms wide open as he took his first wobbly steps towards me. Now I sit before him at the kitchen table helping him with homework. He is his own person now. What an amazing gift to watch your once helpless little newborn turn into their own person.  A sweet loving boy with an amazing sense of humor. He is wise and yet still so child like. Constantly thinking of others he is the first to ask me how my night at work went and how he can help around the house. When I come downstairs dressed for date night he always stops what he is doing to tell me how pretty I look, one of the many sweet gestures he gets from his father. I am a lucky girl. He has a passion for all things science and music with a mean spiral when throwing a football. He is the definition of BOY and that scared the living daylights out of me 6 years ago.

When the ultrasound confirmed we were having a boy, my husband's face lit up. The father and son relationship is a special one, and one we all know about. What I didn’t know was about the mother-son relationship and how this little red hair/ blue eye boy would change my life forever. Growing up it was always just me and my sister. I knew nothing about raising a little boy and often wondered how our relationship would be. You see mothers and daughters enjoying mani pedis, shopping, and gossiping. You see fathers and sons at the park playing catch, fishing at the lake, and sharing a beer. Where will I fit in in this sweet boys life when he has become my whole world?

It didn't take long to learn where I stand in his world. I am his nurse, the one he comes to when his stomach is hurting or he needs a band-aid and a kiss. I am, along with his amazing father, teaching him how to be a gentleman as he asks to go on special Starbucks dates with me and even holds the door open. I am his cheerleader and enjoy every moment watching from the sidelines as kicks  a goal or slides into home. I am his teacher and will read to him for as long as he wants and teach him about anything and everything he wants to know. As parents we teach our children every single moment of their lives. How to talk, walk, read, and write. How to be polite, play a new game, throw a baseball. I wonder if our children realize they they also teach us so much more just by being themselves, pure and innocent.

Here are just a few things I have learned in my short 6 years as a mother. 

1.) Superheroes don't have dance parties or talk it out. I have a confession, while I'm great at playing games (anyone down for a game of Tag or Mousetrap?) I stink at playing with my sons toys. I often find myself sitting in front of his Batman cave holding Spider-Man in my hand trying to make it seem as if I LOVED it. I grew up on Barbies and Polly Pockets and truly this is torture for me. I am just not wired to fend off villains. "Hey batman," I say one particular day, moving my Spider-man figurine closer to his. "Want to have a dance party?" My son looks at me and smiles. "Mommy they have to fight the bad guys. Watch me," he says as he holds another darker figure in his opposite hand as he makes them fight. "Take that! Bam! Pow!" I watch as he innocently plays in a way that just comes natural to him. I can't help but to think, Should I be teaching him violence is not the answer? Yes I believe so. I chime in, "Maybe they should talk about what they are feeling?" I said. I will never forget his face when he looked up at me. "Mommy, want to go on a hike or ride bikes?" he asks enthusiastically. "I want to go outside now." That moment when your young child doesn't want to hurt your feelings and would rather just spend time with you....you never forget it. We still have many adventures together in homemade living room forts, magical hikes, craft and story time, and learning new things, but he saves superheroes for dad now and I am OK with that.

2.) It's OK to get dirty. Some grass and dirt stains may never come out and I can't even begin to tell you how many pairs of pants we had to get rid of for ripping at the knees, but the memories attached to those messes are worth more than a $10 pair of pants!

3.) UNPLUG and PUT THE PHONE DOWN. Children and adults both crave undivided attention. When you are out with your friends or speaking with your kids remember eye contact and put away the phone. You are missing so many special moments. That post will be there in a few hours. 

4.) Fresh  air and sweat cures all. Ever notice how the kids get antsy and moody by the end of a bad winter or a particularly rainy season? We often take our children out to "run off some steam," but what about us? I found nothing gets me out of a funk faster than a nice long walk or a good sweat at the gym.

5.) Dance it out. If you are a huge Grey's Anatomy fan like me you know that Meredith and Christina usually dance out their frustrations. Every morning was a struggle to get my son up and ready for school- that is until I started this new routine. I dance and sing around the room until he wakes up and joins me. I don't know if it is the fact that it helps him get energized or the fact he can't stand my singing-but hey at least he is laughing and at school on time. 

6.) Try your best. We are often found saying this to our children but what about us? We put so much pressure on ourselves as parents and at times beat ourselves up when we make mistakes. We are human and mistakes are the only way we learn. No matter what the task is, just try your best and if you fail try it again tomorrow and this time do it better.

7.) Friends pick up where they left off. Nothing teaches you more about true friendships then when you pack up your family and move away from your child's first set of school friends. They show us that we don't have to necessarily talk everyday, but good friends are hard to come by and we must savor and cherish those special bonds.

8.) Get right back up. Kid's are incredibly resilient and strong. Often their falls hurt us more than them. Watching them get right back up and try again without fear is something we can all learn from. No mater what, GET BACK UP.

 

9.) Never underestimate the wisdom of a young child. Some of the best conversations I have ever had were with my little one. Their thoughts are pure and not yet corrupted by society and what they need to think and believe. Just are true to themselves, something I wish we could just bottle up. 

 

 

Valedictorian Speech

“Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.” -Wayne Dyer




     I just spent the past ten minutes staring at the heading to this post. It all seems so surreal to me. I'm still waiting to be pinched and wake up from it all. Nursing was always my DREAM. I remember fondly pretending to be a nurse when my grandfather was ill. I would bring him plastic fruit and pretend cups of water. He would call me his nurse. Even though a plastic apple a day couldn't keep the doctor away....it is compassion that can help heal pain. Ever since I was a little girl I had the aspirations and the hope that one day I could fulfill my dream. Life happens and that dream was thrown in the back of my mind, hidden under sadness and the grind of everyday life survival. As a pregnant high school senior I was told to forget college and focus on working and making money. The loss of my son made it even harder for me to dig that dream back out. I worked for years in the insurance business working so very hard, never to be noticed, and loathing what I did. I was made to make an impact on the life of others...and I couldn't do that by sitting behind a desk collecting past due insurance premiums. It was a women's retreat at my best friends church that helped me dig out my dreams. I prayed and God spoke to me. Months later I started school....and here I am today. I am happy to say I will be continuing my education within the next 6 months to complete my RN
then my BSN....and I'm not stopping until I am a Nurse Practitioner. That is my dream and I have learned to NEVER bury my dreams again...


     Here is the speech I will be giving next week....

Good afternoon, honored guests, faculty, family, friends, and fellow nurses. I admit that I’m relieved to be surrounded by many nurses as I am currently experiencing tachycardia, tachypnea, and diaphoresis. I may have even thrown a few PVC’s. For everyone else in the audience, that translates as rapid heart rate, rapid respirations and profuse sweating. Allow me a moment to compose myself.

My name is Christina Zambrano and I feel so privileged to be speaking today on behalf of the Lincoln Technical Institute April 2014 graduates. I believe you will agree that in front of me today sit some of the most driven and intelligent men and women to be entering into the nursing profession.

Let me first start off by thanking everyone for being here to tonight for this momentous occasion. We would like to thank from the bottom of our hearts all of the people who made this day possible. Thank you for turning the tiny seeds that were once just our dreams and nurturing them into reality. Dr. Santucci, our DON, for all of the long hours you consistently put in to make sure we are getting the best education possible. Thank you for always having your door open and never giving up on us. Ms. Diese for all of the hard work she and others put in to make this beautiful ceremony possible. To each and every faculty member and instructor who shared with us all of their wisdom and experiences from their years as nurses, we thank you. It goes without saying that the instructors at LTI go above and beyond to help us become successful nurses and prepare us for our future careers. Every one of you have touched our lives in one way or another. Last, but certainly not least, we would like to thank our family and friends who have supported us on this journey. It was you who were there for us through all of the ups and downs that come with nursing school. Your devotion, love, and encouragement is what motivate us to keep going even when we felt like we couldn’t go on anymore. Nursing school is not easy. We are told that in the very beginning during the interview process, but I don’t think any of us really had any idea. In the past 12 months, on top of our full day of lectures and/or clinical rotations, we had to prepare for the endless amount of exams. Sometimes two to three in one week! We had to lock ourselves in a room away from family to study. Life doesn’t stop when you are in nursing school so we also had to add in the factors of jobs, family, marriages, children, sickness and the daily grind that is life. We have missed family functions and social events, laundry piled up to the ceiling, and I don’t know about the rest of you but my husband is happy to not be eating grilled cheese multiple times a week anymore for dinner. We are eternally grateful to you all for the support you have given us.

Twelve months ago a group of strangers walked through the doors of LTI anxious and eager to see what the future would bring. In that group were some CNA’s, an EMT, administrative assistants, stay at home moms, and supervisors. Some were fresh out of high school whereas some of us hadn’t sat in a classroom in over ten years. For whatever reason on that day in April a group of mismatched strangers came together to follow their dreams and change their lives forever. Today, that group of strangers stand before you together as a family[CZ1] . The relationships that we have built in the past 12 months are some of the strongest bonds you will ever see. Together we have laughed and together we have cried. We scarfed down our lunches while discussing topics that would make an outsider nauseated. We have broken into more cars than a criminal and with more precision than Mcguever. (Let’s just say it usually involved blood pressure cuffs and a fishing rod- because someone locked their keys in the car.) We have spent long nights at work only to spend long days in class. We have shared wonderful news of babies on the way and the sad news of the passing of loved ones. This past year we have learned so much. Some things we learned are that the ABC’s are not just a children’s song but they stand for something much more important. That is airway, breathing and circulation. And who can forget Ms. Redden drilling into us about perfusion, perfusion, perfusion. I believe, however, that the most important thing we learned this year is about compassion. This is one of the values that is of the utmost importance when being a nurse. We as nurses will make an impact every single day in the lives of people in our community. We are the voice of the voiceless and the advocates for those who cannot advocate for themselves. We should realize that even by helping one person, we are making a difference and we are making the world a better place one patient at a time. Some of us may enter the field and some of us may be continuing on in our education, but we all share one thing in common, we are all nurses and we all made it.

I would like to end this speech with one of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou. "They may forget your name but they will never forget how you made them feel." Every single day when you are working always remember this quote for we can make a difference one patient at a time.

Thank you.

My little one

I should have been studying but I needed to write tonight. First one in a long time. Little rusty...


Cool summer breeze

As crickets serenade

Enjoying the sunset

And sipping lemon aid 

You are flying around

Barefoot and free

Not a care in the world

Blowing kisses at me

Giggles and grass stains

Fireflies in some jars

Illuminating your face

Like tiny golden stars

You whisper your dreams

Your hopes and ambitions

I hope these you remember

Through life's many transitions 

Believe in yourself

And in others as well

Survivors pick themselves up

No matter how many times they fell

Life is not always easy

It can be downright hard

But with loved ones and God

You will get very far

And when life gets so busy

Please remember this, love

To stop an enjoy all the wonders

And beauty from above

You are never told old 

To walk barefoot in grass

And enjoy fireflies

Flickering through glass

                  Christina Zambrano 2013

The Importance of Grieving and Closure

Edited 2/1/2014

     Looking back to three years ago I sometimes can not even recognize myself. As I stand back in time staring at my reflection I see a woman standing before me. Her brown eyes reddened from years of sadness she held locked inside her. That sadness chipped away at her soul little by little until she too was at the brink of death. I'm standing in front of a mirror, but who is this woman before me? Memories flood back to me as if the damn that was built inside of me to keep the hurt away came crashing down. Three years ago I was filled with anxiety. Debilitating anxiety that something would happen to my family-to my son. Would he stop breathing in his sleep? Would he fall at the babysitters on his head? What if he somehow got out of the school and ran out in the street? What if he is in the car with his grandmother and they get into an accident? Once these thoughts are in my head there is NO TURNING BACK. Eddie’s first day of school I sat in the parking lot the entire time. What If? What If? What If?

     Finally one morning I looked into the mirror and I realized the woman looking back at me was begging me for help. Her eyes were worn from the constant worrying. I began my journey with a few therapists who helped me come to terms with where all the anxiety and fear stemmed from. The death of my first son Dylan Thomas. Three years ago I wouldn't talk about my story the way I do now. People knew of my loss, and I had to give the information during past medical history questionnaires, but that was just facts. That was not MY story.

     I sat down one night and let my story exit the deepest corners of my mind and trickle out onto the keyboard. I felt a release that nothing else in the world has ever given me. It was as if the heavy blackness that was strangling my soul was released and I watched it disintegrate like ash from a flame that was put out. Here is my story.

     2003: I was an 18 year old high school senior pregnant with her first baby. It was not the ideal situation in the least. The pregnancy was not planned, I was frightened, and I had my doubts. I had dreams of going to college and becoming a nurse and publishing a book-becoming a pregnant teen was not on my mind. My support system was pretty much non existent except for a couple amazing teachers who pretty much saved my life. I really don’t even think they know how much they did. Ms. Coates and Mr. Masi were my angels that year. They never passed judgment and they supported me. For an 18 year old girl who felt the world was on her shoulders, I just could never thank you both enough.

      Against my will I made an appointment to go to the abortion clinic. The atmosphere was cold as I looked around the waiting room. My heart was beating so fast as I looked over to my boyfriend with just as much fear in his eyes. I filled out piles of paperwork and met with a woman who broke down the procedure nonchalantly as if I was at the dentist for an annual cleaning. No big deal. Panicked I got up, got dressed, and bolted from the facility. Although the situation was not ideal I chose to keep the baby, despite being pressured by many to have an abortion. We later found out I was carrying a little boy. I chose the name Dylan Thomas because of my obsession with the great Bob Dylan and the writer Dylan Thomas. I saw his heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor, felt his little feet kick me, and just prayed that God would take care of me and this innocent baby. I stayed in school, worked part time, clipped coupons, planned his Cat in the Hat nursery, and would day dream about all the things I would teach him. I loved him and I often wondered if he could feel my love.

     March 20, 2003 , 7 months pregnant I woke up to swollen legs and feeling very dizzy. My boyfriend’s mother dismissed me as being lazy and my boyfriend left me at home and went to work. I made a doctors appointment and called a dear friend of mine to take me. Within moments of checking in they had me lie down. Nurses and doctors were frantically making calls and running around the office. I was just at the doctors a few days ago for a check up and everything was fine. What was going on. I would later find out my blood pressure was 210 over 120 (normally 115/80). I was rushed across the street to the hospital where the rest the story was almost a blur.

     Before I knew it I was lying in a room with an IV of Magnesium sulfate dripping into my veins. The nurses told me they were not allowing my then estranged family into the room with me because they were afraid I would stroke out or have a seizure from any type of stimulation. I sat in the quiet room in a haze of drugs and worry. Next thing I know I was being prepped for a C-Section. All of a sudden I was laying in the cold operating room surrounded by what felt like a thousand people. There was no time for an epidural so I would need to be put under. I begged the nurses to please not put me under until I spoke with the doctor. Please Please Please! I begged as if I was begging for my life. The doctor came in and I knew I needed to ask soon. “Will the baby be ok?” “We are not sure,” she replied. “I know this is selfish-but will I be ok?” I will never forget one kind nurse with tears running down her face as she grabbed my hand and told me that was not a selfish question and she would make sure I was ok. Later I would find out I almost died. I was actually moments from stroking out. Even after the C-Section I was in ICU.

     When I awoke from the anesthesia there was my family, my boyfriend’s family and the doctors. I was told Dylan had Hydrops fetalis and they were doing all they can but we should bring in a priest. Before I knew it I was holding my lifeless son surrounded by people and a priest-but never felt more alone in the world.

     From that day on EVERYONE in my life acted as if it never even happened. As if Dylan had never existed. I was told “It is better this way. God was doing you a favor.” Most of my “friends” NEVER asked me how I was dealing, how I was feeling. Not one time. I remember my boyfriend going to a party at his house days later as I sat in the hospital. Were they celebrating? I remember my “friends” literally acting as if the whole thing was a relief. I was told to get over it. As if this was just a late term abortion to them. I started to feel guilty for feeling sadness. I suppressed my grief deep down into my soul. I was NOT allowed to feel sadness because I was a teen mom and because he was only a newborn. I was NOT allowed to cry. I was NOT allowed to feel pain. Eventually I was made to feel crazy when I had my nervous breakdown months later. I was told I was crazy by my friends and the people I cared about the most.

     Then just 4 weeks after my emergency C-Section I got a call from the school. I needed to start my school work or I would not graduate. NO sympathy. I was NOT allowed. A few days later I received a call from the gym teacher. I would need to play Tennis or fail gym. Pick a day and meet him. I JUST HAD A C-SECTION and LOST MY SON!!!! No one cared. I should not care…..I was not allowed to care.

     After graduating in June 2003 I self medicated.We will skip the graphic details of this time of my life for now. I was numb. I was dead. I wanted to die.

     By September 2003 I moved back home and got clean, and have been ever since. But even though we dealt with a few things-I never worked out Dylan’s death. I just repressed it and learned to deal. I learned to trust, to love, and to live. But I never grieved and I never had closure and so it all started coming back out when I gave birth to my son Edward. The fears of losing this little boy CONSUMED me. I felt like I had to do whatever it took to prevent the unknown.

2012 I finally met a therapist who made me write about Dylan. He made me talk about Dylan. He helped me release the darkness, and I will forever be grateful to him. I went back to school to follow my dreams of being a nurse and graduated valedictorian of my class. Here I am, pregnant in high school with many people assuming my life to be over and I am succeeding. It is amazing what you can accomplish when you release the darkness that strangles your light. I will be finally having a burial for my son this year, as I realized that is the last piece of releasing the sadness. Right now his ashes are at my parents house. He deserves a proper send off.    

My hopes with this blog entry is to 

1.) Finally tell my story as if it was my story 

and 

2.) Help reach out to others who have had a loss. It doesn't matter if you are 16 or 50. It doesn't matter if you were 5 weeks pregnant or 9 months pregnant. It doesn't matter if your child was 1 or 20. The loss of a baby, of a child is a loss. It is OK to grieve. It is OK to cry. It is OK to mourn. You are ALLOWED. I now volunteer my time at Grieve Out Loud, a pen pal community for those who have gone through infant and child loss.

I looked back at the woman in the mirror one last time and watched as the fear and sadness in her eyes turned to relief and calmness. A small smile begins to form at the corner of her mouth and she nods as if to thank me for giving her life back.

 This is a poem I wrote for my son that I will read and send off with him at the ceremony:

 I never got to see your eyes

Or feel your fingers wrap around mine

You were needed much more by the Lord above

Something I would learn in time

Did you hear my voice talk to you

At night when I couldn’t sleep

Did you know that when you left

My heart broke and I would weep

I often see the stars up above

Twinkling fast and free

And I hope and pray that you knew

How much you meant to me

We didn't have much time, you and I

Before the Lord called you to the home above

You were much too special for this earth

But please know that you were loved

               -CMZ 09/10/2012

A Letter to My Sweet Boy. 19 Things I Hope You Learn.

To my sweet little boy,

     In a couple of months you are going to be three and then shortly after that you will be starting preschool. Time is whizzing by and I am savoring each special moment you bring to my life. However I can not slow down time and you are on your way and growing up before my eyes. Here is what I hope you learn, my love.

1.) To be PROUD to be a citizen of the United States. My heart aches for the children whose lives are severely affected by Joseph Kony- and that is only one tiny example of the tragedies that occur in other countries. We my not agree totally on what our government does but we are truly blessed and we should never forget that.

2.) You father and I will support you no matter what you choose to be when you grow up. As long as you follow your dreams and you are happy. In the past few months it has been: Paleontologist, Circus Man, Fire Fighter, and a Trash Truck Driver. Remember...as long as you are happy...we are happy for you.

 3.) It is OK to get dirty...Just have fun. 

4.) It is OK to cry. Crying does not mean you are weak. We all have emotions and it is OK to express them. We all have moments of sadness and frustration-we are human.

 

5.) How to cook. One day your wife will appreciate it!

 

6.) You are only 3 and I love your enthusiasm on helping with house chores. You certainly take after your daddy. Mommy is very lucky  :) It is nice to help each other out.

7.) It is OK to indulge every once in a while.......

 

8.) It is important to stay active and healthy as well. 

 

9.) Learn how to be handy with tools....it will save you a lot of money one day.

10.) One day you will fall in love. I hope you become the kind of man your father is. Respectful and kind. Sweet and playful. A best friend. I also hope you will continue to pick your mother flowers even when you have this love in your life.

11.) When you grow up you may move away. For school, for a career, or even for a love. I hope you always remember where you came from and that our door is always open. We love you more than words could ever express. Never forget or doubt our love for you and for each other.

12.) The most important thing in life is to be yourself. UNLESS you can be Batman. ALWAYS be Batman.

 

13.) But remember even superhero's need their rest.

14.) If you promise to keep your love for learning and reading I promise to keep you interested. I will always make learning fun for you ...at least for as long as I can.

15.) One day you will learn to drive. The day will come where you will pass your drivers test and be handed a license and a set of keys. Please resist the urge to "race' with your buddies... it is dangerous and careless and lots of lives have been lost that way.

16.) Be a good friend.

 

17.) Be nice to animals.

18.) Bad thing will happen in life. We may not always understand why..but life does go on. It is true what they say, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Always keep your faith.

19.) When you smile everyone will smile with you. Never lose that charm. Be silly. Laugh loud. Love life.

With Love,

Mommy